Limitations

I'm a different person then I was a year ago. A year ago I was struggling with my faith and I didn't know what I was doing with my life. I was struggling in school and absolutely hated. I didn't want to be there, and my grades reflected that.

Today I am happy. I'm ok with going to school everyday. I am sturdy in my faith thanks to some incredible people.

This post isn't really about any of that. This post is gonna be about my limitations.
I do everything I can to be "normal". I try my hardest to keep up, but there are sometimes that I just cant. There are times where I become completely unable to do almost anything. That sucks. That's when "normal" seems so far out of reach, it sometimes feels almost unreachable.
I did a car wash today. I ran it actually, I got to be the boss which was super fun. Ha-ha. Any how, I was washing a car and trying to push myself a lot farther then my lungs wanted to go. My brother old me to go sit down for a few minutes, so I did. As much as I hate to say it, I needed to sit down, and I did push myself to far. I sat down and drank a little Gatorade and watched everyone else. This girl walked by me and goes, "How come she gets a break? She wasn't even working as hard as me." This really frustrated me. I warned all of my friends going into this that today was rough, and I might have to sit down to catch my breath for a minute. They all understood. But this girl from my youth group knows absolutely nothing about me and has the nerve to say that. I called my brother over and told him, I was trying to be the bigger person, but I needed to tell him. I did, and he went and talked to this girl and explained that sometimes people have 'invisible' diseases. She looked at me and told my brother, "Well she must be faking." NO! I can not fake this. I wouldn't want to fake this. Why would anyone want to fake not being able to breath? I walked over and as politely as I could said, "Asthma isn't fake. My pain isn't fake. This disease isn't fake. The only fake thing here is you, and I don't allow fake things, you need to leave." We exchanged some words, but she did end up leaving.
I know that sounds really harsh, I get that. However, this was not the first time that she had said something like that about MY Asthma. Let me just say this, invisible things hurt too. Just because I don't have a cast, or limp, or complain all the time doesn't mean I don't feel pain regularly. She wasn't my friend, and now, never will be.

I do have limitations that I try to go past regularly. I don't want to have to stop when all the other people keep going. Limitations suck, and so do 'invisible' diseases.

Cameron-Elizabeth

Passport...... ( Day 1)

My church traveled a few hours to camp in Virginia called Passport. It was my first year going. I was really nervous and worried. I didn't really want to go, but I wanted to really bad. All of the youth got thereon Monday morning and were ready to leave. I WAS SICK! I had a really bad migraine and just wanted to sleep. We all gathered around and made the best of how I felt. I ended up riding with Bre's mom because of how sick I was. We made it about half way and stopped for food. As soon as I got out of her car, I threw up all over the bushes. It was nasty. I couldn't eat anything at all. I drank a little sprite in hopes that it would help, it didn't. I threw up again before we started driving. I threw up all over the car. I felt so bad about it, but she reassured me. She said she's done it before and her kids have done it. She said not to worry about it. We made it to camp. The few people I was in the car with and I were late showing up. We missed the group photo but took another one later. We stood out in the heat for a few minutes which made me feel even worse. I ended up having to go inside and sit down. We got our rooms and I took a nap till dinner. I threw up a few times in between then. My room mates and I went to dinner, I didn't eat anything and ended up getting sick again. We went to the opening celebration and had so much fun. Then we met our groups and hung out for an hour. After that we had church group devotions with our youth group. After that I went to bed. I passed out on a very uncomfortable bed and slept most of the night. That was day one....

Cameron-Elizabeth 🐬

Well........

Today is Saturday. I'm sure I wont post this till tomorrow. Sorry.
I am leaving on Monday for a mission camp a few hours away. I am excited and terrified. I want to go, but I don't. I know this is going to sound really stupid. I have never been this far away from my parents for this long. I literally want to cry just thinking about it, and I actually am right now. Last year my dad was sick. I didn't go last time because I was scared something would happen and I wouldn't be here. It did. He had to go to the hospital. This year. I was convinced by Bre to go. It's his last year and he really wanted me to be able to experience one trip while he was there. I am super glad he convinced me. I know that if I get there and hate it, I can still hang out with Bre and try to make the best of it. I'm scared of being by myself the whole time. Don't get me wrong, I love the kids in my youth. But sometimes I am still the outsider even when they try to make me feel at home. I want to go have fun, but at the same time, I want to be here with my dad.
This year, I am going with our youth group. I don't have a whole lot of trust in our youth pastor. I know last year, our actual pastor went. He guaranteed I would love it, and if I didn't, he would take me home. This year we have Colb as our single male chaperone. We have Lucy, who is fantastic, as one of our female chaperones. The other female, is Bre's mom. She is fantastic and I trust her whole heartedly. If she told me something to do, I wouldn't question her. I am hoping that I can ride with her up to the camp. Being in the van with no air and Asthma, would suck. I cant breath with the hot air outside as it is, let alone in a van with 12 other kids.

(I am sorry for how late this is. I was supposed to post this on the 6th, about  weeks ago. I have another one that I will post responding to this one in a few days.)
Cameron Elizabeth

Life

I know it's been a long time since I updated this. I'm sorry, I've been swamped with school and youth and a ton of other stuff. I stayed home on Monday because of my allergies and asthma. When both of those combine it makes me a really sick puppy. I wanted to share this song with you guys too.
It'll all be ok
I don't know if I have share this or not, but I will again. An amazing person sent this to me a while ago. It is a great song that I love. For those of you that don't know, my brother was in the military for several years before he got out. My cousin, is still enlisted in the Army. I instantly thought of my brother when I herd this song. I love it.
Anyway. School is still school. I have my AP exam on the 13th of May. I know that's gonna be though. I can get through it though. I have a great group of friends that I study with and plus some awesome family members who think I'll do great. I have doubts, but I'm sure it will all work out.
I just did the 30 hour famine, last Saturday. It was fun, and not that hard. This was my second year doing it, and again I enjoyed it so much! I have an issue with a girl in my youth group, but I'll write a whole post about that later.
I hope everyone is safe and happy.
Cameron-Elizabeth

The voice of truth.....

The voice of truth is a song by Casting Crowns. My. Favorite. Band..... There a Christian rock group. I can most definitely say they are my favorite band. The voice of truth is god. He says not to be scared, tells a different story, and says this is for my glory. This is the voice I hear. This song is on my playlist, over and over again. But this isn't really what this post is about.

This post is more about my faith. I am a Christian, I attend the most amazing Baptist church ever. Now here is my story......

I have always been a church girl. My dad attended every Sunday, or at least everyone he could. I went with him every Sunday. I did Sunday school with the kids since I was like 3. I had 2 friends at that church.....2. I started youth group as soon as I could. Still with 2 friends there. When I was in 6th grade, a few months after I started youth, my dad was sick. He hadn't attended for about a month. When he walked in with me the Sunday he came back our preacher had the nerve to say "I didn't know you were still a member." That was the last time we went to that church.

We found another one that our family friends were going to. We went and were welcomed with open arms. The most amazing people. Ever. Everyone came and talked to us, including people we had never met before, and people I had known all of my life. We go there every Sunday, rain or shine. Hot or cold. Sick or well. I can only image where we would be had we not started there. My dad got his transplant 3 weeks after we started there. Let me tell you, those people are the most amazing support system I could have wanted. Not including my sister. I can't admit it to everyone when I'm on the verge of giving up, or about to cry. But the youth there are amazing, and I know I can talk to Bre and Ray no matter what. I have sat down and balled my eyes out with people in that church. I have also shared memories that I will never forget with those people. The people I now call my family. The people I trust to talk to and not be looked down on. I have incredible friends at this church. Friends who I couldn't dream of loosening, ever. I love every kid in youth with me. Not at all like the church we were attending.
After we left the first church I stayed friends with those 2 people. I also ended up becoming friends with 2 more incredible people. One of which only talked to me when he didn't have anyone else, I was his last person to talk to. I am so glad he did though. He was at a very bad point in his life. A point where he really needed someone. I became his someone, whenever he needed me. He is now incredibly happy, he joined the Navy, he has a really amasing girlfriend. We talk all the time now. The second person is someone who is like 6 years older then I am. He is a missionary now, but he contacted me just after he left. Him and I became friends, and I talk to him frequently too. Although I am still glad I left that church.

I won't leave this church. I love them.

I have been through difficult times, times where I prayed and didn't believe. Times where I thought if there was a god he wouldn't do this to a follower. I had a conversation with the most amazing youth pastor I have ever had about this. He told me that if I couldn't handle these challenges, they wouldn't have been given to me. I think that's true. I also wonder though. A preachers son is supposed to know that. He gets taught all of that when he's young. Yet I wonder why he cut his life short. Maybe that was his way of handling it. I just can't seem to understand that. I can't seem to figure that part out. Maybe I'm just not seeing the bigger picture. Maybe I missed something. I just can't figure it out.

I'm in a place right now where I believe. I pray about everything. I wonder when this "trial" is going to end though. This wasn't supposed to be a depressing post. It's really supposed to be happy. I have a church! I belief in god! I'm in a good place faith wise right now! I'm happy!
I write this as I am listening to my playlist that consists of songs by Casting Crowns, Chris Tomlin and Mercyme.

Welcome 2014

Well, 2013 was eventful. I was in 2 weddings, I went to a funeral, I turned 15, it was a good year.
This year, I'm hoping will be great. I turned 16 already. I have been dreading this day for a while. However, it had to happen.
My party sucked. I mean I guess it was good. I had my mom, dad and younger sister. Later my friend came over, but that was it. I'm used to these great parties where my whole family is here and we can all have fun. Today wasn't really fun. It was just kind of bluh.
I know my dad tried. My family couldn't make it, and I understand that. But its just kind of upsetting.
I hope everyone had a great new years and continues to have a great 2014.
With that I will leave everyone with a question.
What is your new years resolution?
Cameron-Elizabeth

Blogaversery!

Well, I missed it.
My blogaversery was the 7th. I missed it. :( However I remembered a few days later.
What a year this has been. I am so thankful I decided to do this. I am thankful for ya'll reading this. It means a lot to me. I hope I have helped someone out there.
I know this is an Asthma blog, so ill give you a little update on mine.
I was put back on steroids a few weeks ago, and then got all that mess cleared up, thankfully. I am off of them again. Which is nice. I'm still having issues, not gonna lie. But I think its gotten better (knock on wood.)
Please feel free to email me..... thekidwithasthma

Cameron-Elizabeth