Loooong Update

Here I am, on a Tuesday morning at 1:39 writing this. I got back from an incredible and life changing mission experience a few days ago. I am currently doing VBS with my church which is going swimmingly. Back to Passport.

Passport is a very great mission camp, it focuses not only on doing to mission but also how we can go back into our community and make a change which to me is incredible. It's a week long thing, and boy does that week go bye fast!

As most of you know I've always been a church kid minus a few years where I was lost. I sit here in tears writing this because I can feel God with me. I felt him all week at camp, but hugely on the last day. See, I have grown a lot within the last year alone. I've grown in my faith more than I ever imagined. With that being said I feel like my life has been changed. I feel as if the direction of my life I thought I was being lead down is no longer right, I feel like I'm being lead into ministry. I don't know how to explain it. I truly don't. I feel as if God wants me to do both of these things. He wants me to go into medicine but he also wants me in ministry. I feel like He has completely flipped my life. At some points I wish He could call me up and be like, "Yo girl, I'm gonna send you this this and this, and you can expect this bump and that hurdle but everything will work out. But, I know that's not how God works. It just isn't.

For now I think I'm gonna end this post. I'll try to post more and also share a little more of my spiritual journey.

Your sister in Christ,

Cameron-Elizabeth

Youth

I am a big church kid as all of you know. My faith is one of the few things that keeps me going. I know that no matter what, God loves me! However, I have been having issues that are hard to discuss at church, because they involve church.
My youth group is made out of phenomenal kids that I love to death and would do anything for. These guys mean the world to me and I would take a bullet for almost any of them. One of my main problems right now is that Bre is no longer there. We were and still are best friends, but youth is crumbling without him. Our youth pastor started Revelation with us, I enjoyed doing that with Bre. When he left, we didn't know what to do, we were lost. We never finished that book because our youth guy didn't want to. Ok, fine, new book of the Bible. No, that didn't happen. We started reading a book by Shane Claiborne. It is a great book and I would recommend it because I read all of it on my own time. However, he doesn't plan on finishing this either. My other problem is that we are no longer doing mission work. Missions and things like that are my life and something I NEED! We just stopped.
I go to big church every Sunday. I have talked to Bre and he understands my frustration. I left a church with a great youth past (one I still talk to weekly) because of the kids. Now I'm at a church with great kids and a horrible youth pastor. It makes me want to cry. Thinking that I might leave my best friends because I'm just not getting what I need. I really don't know what to do.
I have talked to our actual pastor and he talked to our youth pastor. When that happened I was glared at all of church that Sunday. That Sunday was bad to begin with. My knee and shoulder were bothering in, I was in a crap ton of pain and wanted to cry. Church ended and I looked at Bre and he grabbed me and pulled me out of church before I could say anything. Our regular pastor has tried to change things, but its not working and no one wants to take the step that needs to be taken. I understand that, but you need to look at what's best for the youth, not the guy running it. I don't know what I'm gonna do.

Any way, I'm sorry I haven't been on a lot. I've had a crazy amount of work from school. (Who knew taking 3 AP classes would be hard? Ha-ha.) Let me talk about that for a moment. My youth friends and I try our hardest to help each other with our homework, but being the oldest and in super advanced classes means I'm helping everyone else. I missed a few days and am sick right now, but we have a break coming up, so hopefully I can make it till then. I'm in love with a few of my classes, they are absolutely wonderful. I hope ya'll are doing great! Please feel free to email me... thekidwithasthma.

Cameron-Elizabeth

The voice of truth.....

The voice of truth is a song by Casting Crowns. My. Favorite. Band..... There a Christian rock group. I can most definitely say they are my favorite band. The voice of truth is god. He says not to be scared, tells a different story, and says this is for my glory. This is the voice I hear. This song is on my playlist, over and over again. But this isn't really what this post is about.

This post is more about my faith. I am a Christian, I attend the most amazing Baptist church ever. Now here is my story......

I have always been a church girl. My dad attended every Sunday, or at least everyone he could. I went with him every Sunday. I did Sunday school with the kids since I was like 3. I had 2 friends at that church.....2. I started youth group as soon as I could. Still with 2 friends there. When I was in 6th grade, a few months after I started youth, my dad was sick. He hadn't attended for about a month. When he walked in with me the Sunday he came back our preacher had the nerve to say "I didn't know you were still a member." That was the last time we went to that church.

We found another one that our family friends were going to. We went and were welcomed with open arms. The most amazing people. Ever. Everyone came and talked to us, including people we had never met before, and people I had known all of my life. We go there every Sunday, rain or shine. Hot or cold. Sick or well. I can only image where we would be had we not started there. My dad got his transplant 3 weeks after we started there. Let me tell you, those people are the most amazing support system I could have wanted. Not including my sister. I can't admit it to everyone when I'm on the verge of giving up, or about to cry. But the youth there are amazing, and I know I can talk to Bre and Ray no matter what. I have sat down and balled my eyes out with people in that church. I have also shared memories that I will never forget with those people. The people I now call my family. The people I trust to talk to and not be looked down on. I have incredible friends at this church. Friends who I couldn't dream of loosening, ever. I love every kid in youth with me. Not at all like the church we were attending.
After we left the first church I stayed friends with those 2 people. I also ended up becoming friends with 2 more incredible people. One of which only talked to me when he didn't have anyone else, I was his last person to talk to. I am so glad he did though. He was at a very bad point in his life. A point where he really needed someone. I became his someone, whenever he needed me. He is now incredibly happy, he joined the Navy, he has a really amasing girlfriend. We talk all the time now. The second person is someone who is like 6 years older then I am. He is a missionary now, but he contacted me just after he left. Him and I became friends, and I talk to him frequently too. Although I am still glad I left that church.

I won't leave this church. I love them.

I have been through difficult times, times where I prayed and didn't believe. Times where I thought if there was a god he wouldn't do this to a follower. I had a conversation with the most amazing youth pastor I have ever had about this. He told me that if I couldn't handle these challenges, they wouldn't have been given to me. I think that's true. I also wonder though. A preachers son is supposed to know that. He gets taught all of that when he's young. Yet I wonder why he cut his life short. Maybe that was his way of handling it. I just can't seem to understand that. I can't seem to figure that part out. Maybe I'm just not seeing the bigger picture. Maybe I missed something. I just can't figure it out.

I'm in a place right now where I believe. I pray about everything. I wonder when this "trial" is going to end though. This wasn't supposed to be a depressing post. It's really supposed to be happy. I have a church! I belief in god! I'm in a good place faith wise right now! I'm happy!
I write this as I am listening to my playlist that consists of songs by Casting Crowns, Chris Tomlin and Mercyme.

Sorry...

Ok, with starting school I have been really busy, and I apologize for that. It is completely my fault that I haven't been on.
I sit here at almost 9 writing this. I have had a long weekend. I haven't felt good and on top of that, I had an A. P. test today.
On Saturday and Sunday I was barley home at all, and I'm not saying that's a bad thing. But it definitely took a toll and me.
On Saturday I had a church thing starting at 10. Then I was home for about 10 minutes and we had to leave to go to a wedding shower. We were in charge of games. Then after that ended we went to a "met the youth pastor" type thing. I was feeling so bad at that point. I was having breathing issues, and my shoulder and leg hurt because of how long I was in the car. We ended up going home early and I missed a lot of fun stuff. :(
On Sunday, I had church service. Directly after that, we voted on our youth pastor. He is now our official youth pastor. Then I went home for an hour. Then we went to do dress alterations. After that, I went to AWANA and then youth. I really just wanted to go home.
So, all and all, I feel crappy. I'm not gonna wine about how miserable I am. I'm just happy I woke up today. That's something to do a praise for!
But, Asthma does suck. I have had Asthma all my life, and almost 16 years later, we are still trying to figure out how to control it. So, if your out there living with Asthma and think your the only one, you aren't. I'm right here in that boat with you.

Cameron-Elizabeth