Plan C

Sometimes it is easier to say I don't care then explain all the reasons you do

I have a bad habit of that. I don't want to sit down and explain why I care. There are things I care about that I don't know why I do, I just do. Saying I don't and whatever are bad habits of mine. They don't fix anything. If they do anything its make it worse. I just don't know how to tell someone that I do care. I don't want to leave, I don't want you to leave, I want everything to stay the same. I want everything to go back to how it was when I was 7, perfect. I want my dad to run and hug me everyday. I want me brother to pick me up and spin around. I want my mom to come home a 5:30 so we can eat what my dad cooked. I want my dad to coach my softball team, I want him to run a mile with me everyday. I want to be OK.

Recently I have been thinking. About a lot. What would life be like if my parents didn't fight. What would life be like if my sister and I didn't fight. What if my dad never got sick. What would happen if something happened to my parents. What would happen if something happened to me. Where would we go. Who would take us.

The last few questions I have talked to my parents about. My sister and I are supposed to be shipped to some old friends of my parents. People I have never met. People who are strong Catholics and don't allow there daughter to wear shorts. That is not where I want to go. You need a back up plan for kids. I know that's not what parents want to think about. But there is that what if. I do not want to be shipped to those weird people. Think about how awkward it would be.......

There is another plan c. We have discussed it. My sister and I like it. There are a few kinks in the plan though. Some that really need worked out.

Cameron-Elizabeth