Today has been long. I'm missing my sister and brother-in-law. I miss my niece and nephew. I miss my grandparents. It seems like everyone I want right now is just out of reach. The people I need the most are the farthest away. Today, as I was missing all these incredible people I herd a song on the radio which made me have a break down. The song was, "If Haven Wasn't So Far Away", I cried. I was alone in the car and I just balled.
If heaven wasn't so far away I would be able to talk to my grandfather. Id be able to ask him for advice and what to do next. I'd be able to hug him and tell him I love him. I'd be able to meet my dads dad. I have wanted to meet him my entire life. What I have herd about him is incredible.
That's another thing I missed today. My dad loves talking about my grandfather. He really does, but at the same time he misses his dad. I get that. I have only seen my dad cry 3 times in my life. One of those was when he was talking about his dad. My dad is great and I want to be like him when I grow up. When my dad talks about Grandpa, he says that he wishes he could be half the man that Grandpa was. It's hard to imagine someone that great, other then God. Grandpa was a man who worked up until the day he died. He was incredible and managed to raise incredible kids, so it bothers me that he's not here. I mean, I know people have to die, but why him. Why do the ones that are good die before their time?
Only the good die young. I have herd that a thousand times. I know that. But I wish I could have one day with him, with either of my grandpa's. But it starts as one day, then you want another, and another. Where would the line be drawn? At some points I think I would do anything to hug them one more time. But at other times I'm ok that it happened. I'm ok because I know God needed another angle. I know that they're being used well, and I also know that they are looking down upon me and are watching over me. For that I am thankful. I felt them with me today. I had to sing in front of church, and I was so scared. I went up and began and instantly felt the nervousness go away. I felt them with me, helping me through that time. They were just close enough to touch me. To let me know they were there.
Today has been long and rough. But I got through it and am proud I did. Tomorrow is a new day and I know that I'll still have them with me.
Cameron-Elizabeth
(Written Sunday. Blogger wouldn't post it, sorry!)
Showing posts with label dad. Show all posts
Showing posts with label dad. Show all posts
Tuesday, November 25, 2014
Monday, June 17, 2013
Everything has a story behind it
Everything has a story behind it.
The reason I wont show people how bad I feel, there is a story there. The reason I don't complain about pain, another story. The reason no one will ever see me upset, another story. The reason I try to impress everyone I know. The reason I take my shower at 9 and no other time. The reason I never stop smiling. The reason I get really anxious.
The reason I wont show people how bad I feel....... When I was little like 7ish, I saw my dad at the sickest he had been in years. He would go out and do things and not let anyone see how bad he felt. Just like my amazing grandfather. Like father like son and then daughter. Well I told myself then that no matter how bad I feel I will be as strong as my daddy.
The reason I don't complain about pain....... I have seen how much people can hurt. The real tears that can not be held back. In the ER, people who are in pain that couldn't ever be compared to what I feel. I hurt. I am not going to tell anybody though. My brother told me when I was like 4 that no matter how bad something hurts I can tell him, but I have to be a strong girl for my parents. I don't complain to anyone for that reason. I have to be strong. Not weak.
The reason no one will see me upset........ Goes with the one above, I have to be strong. Not weak.
The reason I try to impress everyone....... I am afraid of failure, and not being liked. I want everyone to think highly of me. I was told by a friend that you have to impress everyone or you will have no one. I now know that isn't true. But when your in kindergarten, that leaves a lasting impression. I'm afraid Ill lose everyone.
The reason I take my shower at 9....... I know this is weird. But when I would take a shower/bath sense forever ago, it was at 9. And I don't like change, so 9 is stays.
The reason I never stop smiling....... My dad told me one time when he was in the hospital, "no matter how bad things are everyday is a miracle and don't ever take that for grated or stop smiling." So I don't.
The reason I get really anxious....... I am terrified of things. Terrified of failure and change and death. I get really anxious when someone talks to me because I am afraid of them talking about those things. I know that everyone dies and there is no reason to be scared of death, its not really death I'm scared of. Its losing someone who means so much to me. I cry over the stupidest things because they remind me of something someone did that I have lost.
Morel of this post, don't judge people. You have seen what they do, not why. You know there name but not there story.
Cameron-Elizabeth
The reason I wont show people how bad I feel, there is a story there. The reason I don't complain about pain, another story. The reason no one will ever see me upset, another story. The reason I try to impress everyone I know. The reason I take my shower at 9 and no other time. The reason I never stop smiling. The reason I get really anxious.
The reason I wont show people how bad I feel....... When I was little like 7ish, I saw my dad at the sickest he had been in years. He would go out and do things and not let anyone see how bad he felt. Just like my amazing grandfather. Like father like son and then daughter. Well I told myself then that no matter how bad I feel I will be as strong as my daddy.
The reason I don't complain about pain....... I have seen how much people can hurt. The real tears that can not be held back. In the ER, people who are in pain that couldn't ever be compared to what I feel. I hurt. I am not going to tell anybody though. My brother told me when I was like 4 that no matter how bad something hurts I can tell him, but I have to be a strong girl for my parents. I don't complain to anyone for that reason. I have to be strong. Not weak.
The reason no one will see me upset........ Goes with the one above, I have to be strong. Not weak.
The reason I try to impress everyone....... I am afraid of failure, and not being liked. I want everyone to think highly of me. I was told by a friend that you have to impress everyone or you will have no one. I now know that isn't true. But when your in kindergarten, that leaves a lasting impression. I'm afraid Ill lose everyone.
The reason I take my shower at 9....... I know this is weird. But when I would take a shower/bath sense forever ago, it was at 9. And I don't like change, so 9 is stays.
The reason I never stop smiling....... My dad told me one time when he was in the hospital, "no matter how bad things are everyday is a miracle and don't ever take that for grated or stop smiling." So I don't.
The reason I get really anxious....... I am terrified of things. Terrified of failure and change and death. I get really anxious when someone talks to me because I am afraid of them talking about those things. I know that everyone dies and there is no reason to be scared of death, its not really death I'm scared of. Its losing someone who means so much to me. I cry over the stupidest things because they remind me of something someone did that I have lost.
Morel of this post, don't judge people. You have seen what they do, not why. You know there name but not there story.
Cameron-Elizabeth
Saturday, March 9, 2013
March!
Hey Everyone!
So this is going to be a post about not to much. Just a little update. I helped move my grandma out of her apartment 2 weeks ago. It was actually fun. Believe it or not. I have never moved before so it was cool helping. I took some really amassing photos today. I think I am going to be getting a water prof camera soon. (I hope so) I cut my bangs they happen to be kind of short right now which isn't my favoritest thing ever. I learned El Salvador is 2 words. I finished reading Romeo and Juliet. I got my Nook working. We got a new (white) couch. I met some new friends. I stopped talking to some old friends. I asked for help. Which is a great feat for me. I have been dealing with stuff lately that I really don't like.
My grandma died on Tuesday. I had my moments with her. We didn't get along sometimes. But you have to forgive people. That's what I did. The same grandma that I helped move. Surprisingly this hit me really hard. But at the same time everyone thinks I am this big rock that you can come and talk to. I even had a friend tell me Friday that if I hadn't told her she would have never known. Well it really didn't seem real the first couple days. All I could think about was that though. It seemed like I was just going through the actions. But yesterday it really sunk in when we went to the florist. It hit me, I don't have grandparents anymore. None, biological that is of course. I still have a grandmother that kind of adopted me as her grandchild. So did my grandpa, he died when I was 3. But he meant the world to me. Any way, she died on Tuesday. My dad is taking it really hard, he trys to be this big macho man, but I know hes not. He came in my room last night in tears and told me he couldn't believe she was gone and he would never she her again. My uncle is being strong too, telling everyone that its OK. I believe him.
I think this is going to take time because of how much everyone saw her, but we will be OK. I know we will. I think part of why I am so upset is because I never got to say bye before she moved. And I partially blame my dad for that. I know I shouldn't, its not right. But its hard not to. I feel like there is so much I wanted to tell her.
Its March! I love March. Just as a little up beat last words.
Cameron-Elizabeth
So this is going to be a post about not to much. Just a little update. I helped move my grandma out of her apartment 2 weeks ago. It was actually fun. Believe it or not. I have never moved before so it was cool helping. I took some really amassing photos today. I think I am going to be getting a water prof camera soon. (I hope so) I cut my bangs they happen to be kind of short right now which isn't my favoritest thing ever. I learned El Salvador is 2 words. I finished reading Romeo and Juliet. I got my Nook working. We got a new (white) couch. I met some new friends. I stopped talking to some old friends. I asked for help. Which is a great feat for me. I have been dealing with stuff lately that I really don't like.
My grandma died on Tuesday. I had my moments with her. We didn't get along sometimes. But you have to forgive people. That's what I did. The same grandma that I helped move. Surprisingly this hit me really hard. But at the same time everyone thinks I am this big rock that you can come and talk to. I even had a friend tell me Friday that if I hadn't told her she would have never known. Well it really didn't seem real the first couple days. All I could think about was that though. It seemed like I was just going through the actions. But yesterday it really sunk in when we went to the florist. It hit me, I don't have grandparents anymore. None, biological that is of course. I still have a grandmother that kind of adopted me as her grandchild. So did my grandpa, he died when I was 3. But he meant the world to me. Any way, she died on Tuesday. My dad is taking it really hard, he trys to be this big macho man, but I know hes not. He came in my room last night in tears and told me he couldn't believe she was gone and he would never she her again. My uncle is being strong too, telling everyone that its OK. I believe him.
I think this is going to take time because of how much everyone saw her, but we will be OK. I know we will. I think part of why I am so upset is because I never got to say bye before she moved. And I partially blame my dad for that. I know I shouldn't, its not right. But its hard not to. I feel like there is so much I wanted to tell her.
Its March! I love March. Just as a little up beat last words.
Cameron-Elizabeth
Saturday, February 9, 2013
Life
Maybe things aren't meant to be forever. We live, we die. What happens in between is what makes us who we are.
I finally was able to go back to school last week. I have been loaded with a ton of work. I got my report card wich is something I have been dreading since I found out my grades. I told my parents. My dad was very understanding. He waved it off and said that I can do better and he wants to see my homework and if I have a problem I can talk to him. My mom on the other hand. She was not so understanding. She also has been very nosey of late.
Softball......I have been practicing so much lately. To the point that I now have to take a week off of that for my shoulder. Something I have been battling for a few years. I really need to just chill with it and fix it before I hurt it more. The only problem is that means letting people do things for me. Not good at that. But I don't think I am going to do school ball. I really don't know any more.
School.........I start health tomorrow. Sex ed. Fun. Sarcasm there in case you didn't get that. My friend just got done with it and the first thing he told me, "The most awkward thing I have ever done, take sex ed sitting next to a pregnant girl." Thank the lord we don't have a pregnant girl in my class. Well I am not taking it. I have to sit in the library and do work.
Maybe things really are not meant to be forever. Maybe things are supposed to last for a specific already designated time. We live, we die. Its the cycle of life. What we do in between the beginning and end makes us, us. The things that change peoples minds.
Friends......I have some truly amazing friends. But I also have the friend that wants everyone to feel bad for her. She makes up stories to get attention. Like last year I was saying something about my dad being in the hospital. And she starts rattling off all these things that happened to her. Literally there was a list of them, her dog died, her dad was in the hospital, she was depressed, her cousin killed himself, she had to talk her friend out a suicide. I know that stuff sounds really bad. But when your picked up in a car with your dad and your dog, people wonder. Then the next week she slipped up and said something about how we all believed her. You don't lie about those things. And then this year, she has slept with one of my male friends who has a girlfriend. Sorry this whole paragraph is a rant.
Thank you to everyone who has read this!
Cameron-Elizabeth
I finally was able to go back to school last week. I have been loaded with a ton of work. I got my report card wich is something I have been dreading since I found out my grades. I told my parents. My dad was very understanding. He waved it off and said that I can do better and he wants to see my homework and if I have a problem I can talk to him. My mom on the other hand. She was not so understanding. She also has been very nosey of late.
Softball......I have been practicing so much lately. To the point that I now have to take a week off of that for my shoulder. Something I have been battling for a few years. I really need to just chill with it and fix it before I hurt it more. The only problem is that means letting people do things for me. Not good at that. But I don't think I am going to do school ball. I really don't know any more.
School.........I start health tomorrow. Sex ed. Fun. Sarcasm there in case you didn't get that. My friend just got done with it and the first thing he told me, "The most awkward thing I have ever done, take sex ed sitting next to a pregnant girl." Thank the lord we don't have a pregnant girl in my class. Well I am not taking it. I have to sit in the library and do work.
Maybe things really are not meant to be forever. Maybe things are supposed to last for a specific already designated time. We live, we die. Its the cycle of life. What we do in between the beginning and end makes us, us. The things that change peoples minds.
Friends......I have some truly amazing friends. But I also have the friend that wants everyone to feel bad for her. She makes up stories to get attention. Like last year I was saying something about my dad being in the hospital. And she starts rattling off all these things that happened to her. Literally there was a list of them, her dog died, her dad was in the hospital, she was depressed, her cousin killed himself, she had to talk her friend out a suicide. I know that stuff sounds really bad. But when your picked up in a car with your dad and your dog, people wonder. Then the next week she slipped up and said something about how we all believed her. You don't lie about those things. And then this year, she has slept with one of my male friends who has a girlfriend. Sorry this whole paragraph is a rant.
Thank you to everyone who has read this!
Cameron-Elizabeth
Monday, February 4, 2013
Plan C
Sometimes it is easier to say I don't care then explain all the reasons you do
I have a bad habit of that. I don't want to sit down and explain why I care. There are things I care about that I don't know why I do, I just do. Saying I don't and whatever are bad habits of mine. They don't fix anything. If they do anything its make it worse. I just don't know how to tell someone that I do care. I don't want to leave, I don't want you to leave, I want everything to stay the same. I want everything to go back to how it was when I was 7, perfect. I want my dad to run and hug me everyday. I want me brother to pick me up and spin around. I want my mom to come home a 5:30 so we can eat what my dad cooked. I want my dad to coach my softball team, I want him to run a mile with me everyday. I want to be OK.
Recently I have been thinking. About a lot. What would life be like if my parents didn't fight. What would life be like if my sister and I didn't fight. What if my dad never got sick. What would happen if something happened to my parents. What would happen if something happened to me. Where would we go. Who would take us.
The last few questions I have talked to my parents about. My sister and I are supposed to be shipped to some old friends of my parents. People I have never met. People who are strong Catholics and don't allow there daughter to wear shorts. That is not where I want to go. You need a back up plan for kids. I know that's not what parents want to think about. But there is that what if. I do not want to be shipped to those weird people. Think about how awkward it would be.......
There is another plan c. We have discussed it. My sister and I like it. There are a few kinks in the plan though. Some that really need worked out.
Cameron-Elizabeth
I have a bad habit of that. I don't want to sit down and explain why I care. There are things I care about that I don't know why I do, I just do. Saying I don't and whatever are bad habits of mine. They don't fix anything. If they do anything its make it worse. I just don't know how to tell someone that I do care. I don't want to leave, I don't want you to leave, I want everything to stay the same. I want everything to go back to how it was when I was 7, perfect. I want my dad to run and hug me everyday. I want me brother to pick me up and spin around. I want my mom to come home a 5:30 so we can eat what my dad cooked. I want my dad to coach my softball team, I want him to run a mile with me everyday. I want to be OK.
Recently I have been thinking. About a lot. What would life be like if my parents didn't fight. What would life be like if my sister and I didn't fight. What if my dad never got sick. What would happen if something happened to my parents. What would happen if something happened to me. Where would we go. Who would take us.
The last few questions I have talked to my parents about. My sister and I are supposed to be shipped to some old friends of my parents. People I have never met. People who are strong Catholics and don't allow there daughter to wear shorts. That is not where I want to go. You need a back up plan for kids. I know that's not what parents want to think about. But there is that what if. I do not want to be shipped to those weird people. Think about how awkward it would be.......
There is another plan c. We have discussed it. My sister and I like it. There are a few kinks in the plan though. Some that really need worked out.
Cameron-Elizabeth
Sunday, February 3, 2013
Thankful
“You've gotta dance like there's nobody watching, Love like you'll never be hurt, Sing like there's nobody listening, And live like it's heaven on earth.”
You cant be concerned about what everyone thinks of you. There will be those people who you should care about impressing. Like your boss. I am thankful for knowing this. For knowing that no matter what I do I have to make myself happy. That normally isn't the first thing I do. Normally everyone else's happiness comes first.
I am thankful for everyone who helps me with my fundraisers. I am thankful for my teachers who have been real amazing this past week. I am thankful for my brother and dad for fixing our car. I am thankful for my dad for being my super hero. I am thankful for my sister for being someone who cares greatly for me. I am thankful for my friend "Em" who called me the other day just to say hi. I am thankful for my cousin for giving me all the details about what is OK and not OK for a kid my age to be doing. I am thankful for my mom for helping me with my 750 piece puzzle.
I say thank you and sorry way to often. Its like every 30 minutes I say thank you or I'm sorry. This has been drilled into my head. You say thank you for everything. It is a blessing and a curse. I am glad I do it because people think of you in a nicer perspective when you say thank you. But at the same time, people have told me it is really annoying.
My class got new seats in algebra 2. I sit in the very front, which isn't that bad. My friend "S" sits behind me which I love. This other girl sits next to me which is cool cause shes nice. Then there are 2 boys on either side of "S". The seats are set up like a pyramid except without the very top. So there are 2 seats then 3. Back to the boys. Both of them are incredibly annoying. One of them likes to cheat off of "S" then the other isn't even supposed to sit there.
Cameron-Elizabeth
You cant be concerned about what everyone thinks of you. There will be those people who you should care about impressing. Like your boss. I am thankful for knowing this. For knowing that no matter what I do I have to make myself happy. That normally isn't the first thing I do. Normally everyone else's happiness comes first.
I am thankful for everyone who helps me with my fundraisers. I am thankful for my teachers who have been real amazing this past week. I am thankful for my brother and dad for fixing our car. I am thankful for my dad for being my super hero. I am thankful for my sister for being someone who cares greatly for me. I am thankful for my friend "Em" who called me the other day just to say hi. I am thankful for my cousin for giving me all the details about what is OK and not OK for a kid my age to be doing. I am thankful for my mom for helping me with my 750 piece puzzle.
I say thank you and sorry way to often. Its like every 30 minutes I say thank you or I'm sorry. This has been drilled into my head. You say thank you for everything. It is a blessing and a curse. I am glad I do it because people think of you in a nicer perspective when you say thank you. But at the same time, people have told me it is really annoying.
My class got new seats in algebra 2. I sit in the very front, which isn't that bad. My friend "S" sits behind me which I love. This other girl sits next to me which is cool cause shes nice. Then there are 2 boys on either side of "S". The seats are set up like a pyramid except without the very top. So there are 2 seats then 3. Back to the boys. Both of them are incredibly annoying. One of them likes to cheat off of "S" then the other isn't even supposed to sit there.
Cameron-Elizabeth
Wednesday, January 23, 2013
Happy
Being happy doesn't mean everything is perfect, it just means you have decided to smile through the imperfections. I am in complete agreement.
Everyone cant be happy all the time. But I know it is better for everyone if there is that one person you can always count on to be happy. That person is me! I am a happy kid, I just am, no reason. I can tell you that nothing in my life is picture perfect. I have to develop from the negative. Which I do everyday.
I have an obsession with puzzles. I don't know. I love all puzzles, as long as they have a ton of pieces. I just got a new one with a whole lot of different birds, 750 pieces! I will post a pic when it is done. Yea! Puzzles calm me down. I don't know why, they just do. Most of my friends just get super frustrated. Not this chick.
I am super happy right now, really. No faking. I have gotten to do so much that I wanted to do this week and last weekend. My dad is amazing. There is never a dull moment with him. So I got a new watch the other day. I had no idea how to work it. So I gave the watch and directions to my dad. He starts mumbling to himself, something about how I cant read this tiny print, only a kid could read this, what about the old people. Any way, I end up reading the directions to him, he repeats every word like this: "press and hold B" "Press and hold B, which button is B" This continued for a half hour then he magically goes "I got it !" He did, now my watch works!
I have to go make brownies. Bye Luvs!
Cameron-Elizabeth
Everyone cant be happy all the time. But I know it is better for everyone if there is that one person you can always count on to be happy. That person is me! I am a happy kid, I just am, no reason. I can tell you that nothing in my life is picture perfect. I have to develop from the negative. Which I do everyday.
I have an obsession with puzzles. I don't know. I love all puzzles, as long as they have a ton of pieces. I just got a new one with a whole lot of different birds, 750 pieces! I will post a pic when it is done. Yea! Puzzles calm me down. I don't know why, they just do. Most of my friends just get super frustrated. Not this chick.
I am super happy right now, really. No faking. I have gotten to do so much that I wanted to do this week and last weekend. My dad is amazing. There is never a dull moment with him. So I got a new watch the other day. I had no idea how to work it. So I gave the watch and directions to my dad. He starts mumbling to himself, something about how I cant read this tiny print, only a kid could read this, what about the old people. Any way, I end up reading the directions to him, he repeats every word like this: "press and hold B" "Press and hold B, which button is B" This continued for a half hour then he magically goes "I got it !" He did, now my watch works!
I have to go make brownies. Bye Luvs!
Cameron-Elizabeth
Saturday, January 19, 2013
More than Mistakes
You are more than the mistakes you've made.
There isn't much more to say, but there is a story behind it. Something I will never forget. I had done something that I shouldn't have. Anyway everyone was mad at me, this was like 3 or 4 years ago. That was the first time my dad or sister had ever yelled at me. I remember my sister a hour latter came over to me while I was in tears she said "I still love you, nothing will ever change that." My dad later that night came into my room and sat down and gave me this whole long speech about how what I did was wrong and that I should never do that again. But at the end of it he tells me, " Cam I love you. You are bigger than the mistakes you've made." This was one of those time I didn't feel like it.
That quote has become a reminder over the years that no matter what I do my dad and sister will always love me. I always know that no matter what I can talk to them.
I have made a big mistake that I don't know if I can fix. I got so far behind in all my classes. I mean I got caught up, but I don't think that was good enough. I very afraid of my report card. I don't know how anyone is going to respond. I can legitimately say this is the most afraid I have ever been of telling my dad something. Wish me luck.
Cameron-Elizabeth
There isn't much more to say, but there is a story behind it. Something I will never forget. I had done something that I shouldn't have. Anyway everyone was mad at me, this was like 3 or 4 years ago. That was the first time my dad or sister had ever yelled at me. I remember my sister a hour latter came over to me while I was in tears she said "I still love you, nothing will ever change that." My dad later that night came into my room and sat down and gave me this whole long speech about how what I did was wrong and that I should never do that again. But at the end of it he tells me, " Cam I love you. You are bigger than the mistakes you've made." This was one of those time I didn't feel like it.
That quote has become a reminder over the years that no matter what I do my dad and sister will always love me. I always know that no matter what I can talk to them.
I have made a big mistake that I don't know if I can fix. I got so far behind in all my classes. I mean I got caught up, but I don't think that was good enough. I very afraid of my report card. I don't know how anyone is going to respond. I can legitimately say this is the most afraid I have ever been of telling my dad something. Wish me luck.
Cameron-Elizabeth
Sunday, January 13, 2013
How much Influence do your parents have?
So my English teacher has these journal prompts that I absolutely love, so I will be doing alot of them as posts.
How much influence do your parents have?
My parents have a huge deal of influence on me. Good example here. My dad loves cars. When I was like 3 or 4 my dad took me outside to help him. So began my love affair with cars. (Song quote there) Yea, my parents have a ton of influence on me. I think my softball obsession came from him. For my 5th birthday my dad bought me my first bat. I had gone to every softball game he played in. I was there little cheerleader. So when he couldn't play anymore he decided to coach my team. I though it was the coolest thing ever....... my dad the coach! Another really good example, my love of photography. My dad used to take these amazing photos and he would always tell me that someday he wanted one of his photos published. So I am working on becoming that good. My mom has an example to, she had an obsession with cooking so I became a fairly good cook. That's another thing I continue to work on.
So how much influence do/did your parents have on you?
Cameron-Elizabeth
How much influence do your parents have?
My parents have a huge deal of influence on me. Good example here. My dad loves cars. When I was like 3 or 4 my dad took me outside to help him. So began my love affair with cars. (Song quote there) Yea, my parents have a ton of influence on me. I think my softball obsession came from him. For my 5th birthday my dad bought me my first bat. I had gone to every softball game he played in. I was there little cheerleader. So when he couldn't play anymore he decided to coach my team. I though it was the coolest thing ever....... my dad the coach! Another really good example, my love of photography. My dad used to take these amazing photos and he would always tell me that someday he wanted one of his photos published. So I am working on becoming that good. My mom has an example to, she had an obsession with cooking so I became a fairly good cook. That's another thing I continue to work on.
So how much influence do/did your parents have on you?
Cameron-Elizabeth
Sunday, January 6, 2013
Stubborn
Hey!
Strong people always have there lives together. Even with tears in there eyes, they manage to say; "I'm okay" with a smile on there face. In no ways do I consider myself a very strong person. I am strong, but not strong enough to smile through the tears. I can smile through all the pain, but when I break down and cry there is no smiling. I have been there, it has happened at home, it has happened at school. In no way do I consider myself that strong.
I have a bad problem with being stubborn. I have always been this way, I get it from my dad. I do not like taking help. I am very set in my ways, I am happy with myself. I am sure there are people like this that agree. My dad and I will struggle to do something for hours before we ask for help, or end up hurting our selves. Yea, not the best idea.
Right now I am trying to convince my dad that we should get a dog. He keeps saying that there expensive, I wont take care of it, stupid stuff. Well the dog I want, his name is Harley. I told my dad hes perfect because, he is a good running companion, his name is Harley, hes just awesome. I keep doing the name thing because my dad loves Harley's, he had one that he used to call his "baby". It would be a challenge though, I am allergic to animal hair, dogs and cats. I also don't keep my room super clean so he might eat some stuff in there. Any way that is a work in progress.
Cameron-Elizabeth
Strong people always have there lives together. Even with tears in there eyes, they manage to say; "I'm okay" with a smile on there face. In no ways do I consider myself a very strong person. I am strong, but not strong enough to smile through the tears. I can smile through all the pain, but when I break down and cry there is no smiling. I have been there, it has happened at home, it has happened at school. In no way do I consider myself that strong.
I have a bad problem with being stubborn. I have always been this way, I get it from my dad. I do not like taking help. I am very set in my ways, I am happy with myself. I am sure there are people like this that agree. My dad and I will struggle to do something for hours before we ask for help, or end up hurting our selves. Yea, not the best idea.
Right now I am trying to convince my dad that we should get a dog. He keeps saying that there expensive, I wont take care of it, stupid stuff. Well the dog I want, his name is Harley. I told my dad hes perfect because, he is a good running companion, his name is Harley, hes just awesome. I keep doing the name thing because my dad loves Harley's, he had one that he used to call his "baby". It would be a challenge though, I am allergic to animal hair, dogs and cats. I also don't keep my room super clean so he might eat some stuff in there. Any way that is a work in progress.
Cameron-Elizabeth
Wednesday, January 2, 2013
We don't like what we don't understand, in fact it scares us, and this monster is mysterious at least
Hey!
We don't like what we don't understand, in fact it scares us, and this monster is mysterious at least..... That comes from beauty and the beast. People are like that. What the don't understand they don't like. I do not agree with it. There are many things I don't understand but still like. Like I don't understand why the sky is blue, but I still like the sky and still like the color blue. People can be very rude when they don't understand things. I have experienced this many time, not only with asthma but with life in general.
For a true hero isn't measured by the size of his strength, but by the strength of his heart. This is another one of my favorite quotes. This one comes from Hercules. It rings out load and clear. I have a tendency to write it on my papers and on my white board and repeat it all the time. A true hero isn't physically strong. They have to be emotionally strong and able. I love this one very much!
In case you couldn't tell I love Disney. It all started when I was 3, my dad put in beauty and the beast. This is my favorite movie of all time. I remember her yellow dress and I told my dad I wanted one. Then magically one appeared, right on my bed one morning. Of course I wore it everywhere. Then I became fascinated with the princess. I wanted to be belle, more then anything in the world. I wanted to find my prince charming. I still do. I want to dance with him in a huge ballroom. I want to wear that yellow dress at my wedding, I want the golden colors everywhere. I want to know that I can have a good wedding, with my prince charming. I just want to know Ill be ok.
Cameron-Elizabeth
Saturday, December 29, 2012
Lanauge
Ehi!
I love foreign languages. I have this weird fascination with it. Not the common ones like French or Spanish. Well I do like those, but not the point. I like languages that most people don't learn, like German or Italian. I someday want to travel the world with my dad. I want to be able to pay for us to go anywhere. I have this weird thing with money. I'm not greedy, but I'm afraid of not having enough. The point my family is at right now is the breaking point. We are always at each others throats. Whether its about money or food or what ever. But some how my dad and I have this alliance kind of. Its cool. But were by far are not the poorest people in the world. But at the same time we are no longer in the middle class. Yes we struggle alot. But there is always this unspoken alliance between my dad and I. Its nice. So I fill my time with learning foreign languages. This way when my dad and I travel the world I will be able to speak to people. I need that, I know that's weird. But I need that little sliver of hope that there is a chance my dad and I can be happy. Right now at this moment I am not happy what so ever. My dad and I are able to get through this though. I am most definitely a daddy's girl. No dought about it. So my dad and I are hoping in the next few years to go to Germany. I am not fluent enough to speak to anyone, but I am trying. So that is something I have to look forward to. I also want to travel to Italy, I have a little fund set up, where all the money I get for Christmas or my birthday goes. This is my traveling fund. At the moment there is not alot in it, but enough to get started. I enjoy planing theses trips. When we go to Germany I want to visit Cologne Cathedral I also want to see The Black Forest. When we go to Italy in want to see all the big cities, like Rome, Venice, Florence, Milan and Naples. I already know what im going to where! Im so strange!
Cameron-Elizabeth
I love foreign languages. I have this weird fascination with it. Not the common ones like French or Spanish. Well I do like those, but not the point. I like languages that most people don't learn, like German or Italian. I someday want to travel the world with my dad. I want to be able to pay for us to go anywhere. I have this weird thing with money. I'm not greedy, but I'm afraid of not having enough. The point my family is at right now is the breaking point. We are always at each others throats. Whether its about money or food or what ever. But some how my dad and I have this alliance kind of. Its cool. But were by far are not the poorest people in the world. But at the same time we are no longer in the middle class. Yes we struggle alot. But there is always this unspoken alliance between my dad and I. Its nice. So I fill my time with learning foreign languages. This way when my dad and I travel the world I will be able to speak to people. I need that, I know that's weird. But I need that little sliver of hope that there is a chance my dad and I can be happy. Right now at this moment I am not happy what so ever. My dad and I are able to get through this though. I am most definitely a daddy's girl. No dought about it. So my dad and I are hoping in the next few years to go to Germany. I am not fluent enough to speak to anyone, but I am trying. So that is something I have to look forward to. I also want to travel to Italy, I have a little fund set up, where all the money I get for Christmas or my birthday goes. This is my traveling fund. At the moment there is not alot in it, but enough to get started. I enjoy planing theses trips. When we go to Germany I want to visit Cologne Cathedral I also want to see The Black Forest. When we go to Italy in want to see all the big cities, like Rome, Venice, Florence, Milan and Naples. I already know what im going to where! Im so strange!
Cameron-Elizabeth
Saturday, December 22, 2012
Trips
Bonjour!
I love traveling! It makes me happy. Going through my closet and finding what ill take. I love it! We haven't been able to travel in a few years which is sad, but it will just make it even better when we do get to. I have this whole cheek list. I know this is going to sound crazy, but I love packing! I have to make sure I have everything I want and need. I want to travel to France, only for a little while. By no means do I want to live there. But traveling is something that always makes me happy. whether its just to a friends for the night or a vacation. One of my favorite vacation spots is Kerr Lake. We would go there every year with my family and another family. It was the most amazing place I have ever been to. I have to say even better then Disney. I loved Disney, but not as much as the lake. Its so quite, I can be myself, and there are no lines to get on a ride. I loved it. Another place I always loved going to was my uncle and aunts house. Its way out in the middle of no wheresville. But that made it even better. I really do miss going on trips. Even just little ones. I miss packing to go away for a week. I miss the fight over who gets to ride with daddy in the front seat. I know this is so strange, but its my family and its something I miss. I wish I could go back.
On a happier note, I was able to go see my cousin "J" graduate about a weeks ago. It was very exiting and very nice. She even stayed for pictures afterward. The only down side to the entire trip was going down to see it with my grandmother. I rode down to the graduation and back with my uncle and grandmother. It was okay, but I cant sit or stand for long periods of time because of my legs. I don't share hat with many people so its not like anyone watches for it or anything. So after the 2 hour car ride we arrived at my other cousins apartment. That was nice, until I changed the channel on their new TV. When doing so the Sandy Hooke shooting was on. We all sat around and watched that for a short time. After we went to lunch. At first I thought oh my gosh I don't like any of the food. Boy was I wrong. The place was very good. They also handled the large crowd very well. Then we went to the actual graduation part. The graduation was another long sitting period of about 3ish hours. "J" tried to escape afterward so she wouldn't have to take pictures. But her lovely boyfriend "R" carried her from the car back inside for pictures. We got some very nice pictures, some of just her and some of everyone. All and all it was a very nice night. Very enjoyable. The walk out to the car in the cold with hurting legs wasn't very fun. But I liked seeing my fam again. I am hopping to see all of them again on Christmas. Fingers are crossed!
Cameron-Elizabeth
I love traveling! It makes me happy. Going through my closet and finding what ill take. I love it! We haven't been able to travel in a few years which is sad, but it will just make it even better when we do get to. I have this whole cheek list. I know this is going to sound crazy, but I love packing! I have to make sure I have everything I want and need. I want to travel to France, only for a little while. By no means do I want to live there. But traveling is something that always makes me happy. whether its just to a friends for the night or a vacation. One of my favorite vacation spots is Kerr Lake. We would go there every year with my family and another family. It was the most amazing place I have ever been to. I have to say even better then Disney. I loved Disney, but not as much as the lake. Its so quite, I can be myself, and there are no lines to get on a ride. I loved it. Another place I always loved going to was my uncle and aunts house. Its way out in the middle of no wheresville. But that made it even better. I really do miss going on trips. Even just little ones. I miss packing to go away for a week. I miss the fight over who gets to ride with daddy in the front seat. I know this is so strange, but its my family and its something I miss. I wish I could go back.
On a happier note, I was able to go see my cousin "J" graduate about a weeks ago. It was very exiting and very nice. She even stayed for pictures afterward. The only down side to the entire trip was going down to see it with my grandmother. I rode down to the graduation and back with my uncle and grandmother. It was okay, but I cant sit or stand for long periods of time because of my legs. I don't share hat with many people so its not like anyone watches for it or anything. So after the 2 hour car ride we arrived at my other cousins apartment. That was nice, until I changed the channel on their new TV. When doing so the Sandy Hooke shooting was on. We all sat around and watched that for a short time. After we went to lunch. At first I thought oh my gosh I don't like any of the food. Boy was I wrong. The place was very good. They also handled the large crowd very well. Then we went to the actual graduation part. The graduation was another long sitting period of about 3ish hours. "J" tried to escape afterward so she wouldn't have to take pictures. But her lovely boyfriend "R" carried her from the car back inside for pictures. We got some very nice pictures, some of just her and some of everyone. All and all it was a very nice night. Very enjoyable. The walk out to the car in the cold with hurting legs wasn't very fun. But I liked seeing my fam again. I am hopping to see all of them again on Christmas. Fingers are crossed!
Cameron-Elizabeth
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