Maybe things aren't meant to be forever. We live, we die. What happens in between is what makes us who we are.
I finally was able to go back to school last week. I have been loaded with a ton of work. I got my report card wich is something I have been dreading since I found out my grades. I told my parents. My dad was very understanding. He waved it off and said that I can do better and he wants to see my homework and if I have a problem I can talk to him. My mom on the other hand. She was not so understanding. She also has been very nosey of late.
Softball......I have been practicing so much lately. To the point that I now have to take a week off of that for my shoulder. Something I have been battling for a few years. I really need to just chill with it and fix it before I hurt it more. The only problem is that means letting people do things for me. Not good at that. But I don't think I am going to do school ball. I really don't know any more.
School.........I start health tomorrow. Sex ed. Fun. Sarcasm there in case you didn't get that. My friend just got done with it and the first thing he told me, "The most awkward thing I have ever done, take sex ed sitting next to a pregnant girl." Thank the lord we don't have a pregnant girl in my class. Well I am not taking it. I have to sit in the library and do work.
Maybe things really are not meant to be forever. Maybe things are supposed to last for a specific already designated time. We live, we die. Its the cycle of life. What we do in between the beginning and end makes us, us. The things that change peoples minds.
Friends......I have some truly amazing friends. But I also have the friend that wants everyone to feel bad for her. She makes up stories to get attention. Like last year I was saying something about my dad being in the hospital. And she starts rattling off all these things that happened to her. Literally there was a list of them, her dog died, her dad was in the hospital, she was depressed, her cousin killed himself, she had to talk her friend out a suicide. I know that stuff sounds really bad. But when your picked up in a car with your dad and your dog, people wonder. Then the next week she slipped up and said something about how we all believed her. You don't lie about those things. And then this year, she has slept with one of my male friends who has a girlfriend. Sorry this whole paragraph is a rant.
Thank you to everyone who has read this!
Cameron-Elizabeth
Showing posts with label Mom. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Mom. Show all posts
Saturday, February 9, 2013
Monday, February 4, 2013
Plan C
Sometimes it is easier to say I don't care then explain all the reasons you do
I have a bad habit of that. I don't want to sit down and explain why I care. There are things I care about that I don't know why I do, I just do. Saying I don't and whatever are bad habits of mine. They don't fix anything. If they do anything its make it worse. I just don't know how to tell someone that I do care. I don't want to leave, I don't want you to leave, I want everything to stay the same. I want everything to go back to how it was when I was 7, perfect. I want my dad to run and hug me everyday. I want me brother to pick me up and spin around. I want my mom to come home a 5:30 so we can eat what my dad cooked. I want my dad to coach my softball team, I want him to run a mile with me everyday. I want to be OK.
Recently I have been thinking. About a lot. What would life be like if my parents didn't fight. What would life be like if my sister and I didn't fight. What if my dad never got sick. What would happen if something happened to my parents. What would happen if something happened to me. Where would we go. Who would take us.
The last few questions I have talked to my parents about. My sister and I are supposed to be shipped to some old friends of my parents. People I have never met. People who are strong Catholics and don't allow there daughter to wear shorts. That is not where I want to go. You need a back up plan for kids. I know that's not what parents want to think about. But there is that what if. I do not want to be shipped to those weird people. Think about how awkward it would be.......
There is another plan c. We have discussed it. My sister and I like it. There are a few kinks in the plan though. Some that really need worked out.
Cameron-Elizabeth
I have a bad habit of that. I don't want to sit down and explain why I care. There are things I care about that I don't know why I do, I just do. Saying I don't and whatever are bad habits of mine. They don't fix anything. If they do anything its make it worse. I just don't know how to tell someone that I do care. I don't want to leave, I don't want you to leave, I want everything to stay the same. I want everything to go back to how it was when I was 7, perfect. I want my dad to run and hug me everyday. I want me brother to pick me up and spin around. I want my mom to come home a 5:30 so we can eat what my dad cooked. I want my dad to coach my softball team, I want him to run a mile with me everyday. I want to be OK.
Recently I have been thinking. About a lot. What would life be like if my parents didn't fight. What would life be like if my sister and I didn't fight. What if my dad never got sick. What would happen if something happened to my parents. What would happen if something happened to me. Where would we go. Who would take us.
The last few questions I have talked to my parents about. My sister and I are supposed to be shipped to some old friends of my parents. People I have never met. People who are strong Catholics and don't allow there daughter to wear shorts. That is not where I want to go. You need a back up plan for kids. I know that's not what parents want to think about. But there is that what if. I do not want to be shipped to those weird people. Think about how awkward it would be.......
There is another plan c. We have discussed it. My sister and I like it. There are a few kinks in the plan though. Some that really need worked out.
Cameron-Elizabeth
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